keeping it real fake.
jibber jabber 
a collection of run on sentences mostly about travel, fashion, technology, formula 1, design and anything else that this worker bee in the vancouver ad industry feels like rambling on about
something smells
speaking of hippy weirdo’s…how about plain old smelly weirdo’s? i got dragged off to an antique fair on sunday….
wow, its amazing the amount of crap and junk that people will hold onto in the faint hope that it might be worth something. matchboxes (from some no name restaurants scattered around the country), old dolls that are fallen apart (no to mention the pedophile looking dude selling them), expo 86 souvenirs, gawd…i almost expected to find old willie nelson 8-track cartridges…
so imagine a gymnasium full of above mentioned old musty stinky stuff, journey playing on the PA, crowds of people who don’t seem to shower or wash their clothes, and possibly half a dozen leaking Depends undergarments and you can get a sense of the torture that was my Sunday morning.
oh and senior citizens have sharp elbows. they bump and barge like nobody’s business. i got taken the f out.
funny or sad?
i’m not sure, i’m leaning towards funny but that’ll get me a disapproving frown i bet. you decide, but i love the picture…
Article.
unluckiest man alive
that would be me. found an old stack of lottery tickets from the past summer/fall…went online to check the numbers. out of some two dozen tickets not even a lousy stinkin free play. gawd. maybe next time i’ll just play the Lost numbers. they’re already ingrained in my head…4-8-15-16-23-42…plus i’m getting fat enough to qualify as Hurley
getting ahead
tips on brown-nosing in the workplace. based on my observations it seems to work. only wish i could bring myself to do it.
birthday week?
so it was the girlfriend’s birthday recently and she’s been claiming that she gets a birthday week! seems like a made up creation to me. if it was legit hallmark would have a seven pack of birthday cards.
political rant
now i don’t really follow politics but let me get this straight: the democrats and the media are celebrating the Virginia guy, because he sucked so hard that he could barely beat out his opponent and his state was so ass backwards they couldn’t get the votes counted in the same time it takes all the other states, but yet he’s the savior of the democratic party.
boy, i’d be pissed if i was one of the democrats who actually kicked his/her opponent’s ass.
just goes to show you, hard work doesn’t really get you anywhere in this fucked up world.
and how much do you get paid?
got the most amazing phone call today from a kind lady at one of Canada’s larger telecommunications companies. it went something like this…
- what’s your website?
- faceshots.net
- great, let me try that…hmmm, i seem to be getting westbeach
- oh really? faceshots.net?
- hmmm…let me try www.faceshots.net…oh…now i’m getting snowboard.com
- [i try it]interesting. it seems to be working fine for me.
- really? faceshots.net? what would make it not work for me? is there something different in your computer? and you’re typing faceshots.net into the google search box?
- uh no, the address bar, where web addresses go.
- oh! let me try that. oh! look at that! well thank you.
- [stunned silence as i hang up the phone]
“go back to montreal you freaks!”
uhhhh…yeah. that line was heard while driving through Burlington, VT this past weekend in a rented mini-van with Quebec plates. other things to remember?
-”ohhhhhh…cock”
-tasmanian devil vomiting
-”qu’est ce que fuck? are you dead?”
-”south jersey, not north jersey”
the whole crew shut down the office and headed out east to chill for Jake’s Fall Bash.
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i love my neighbours
so in a normal neighbourhood on a rockin friday night to kick off a long weekend one expects the odd party and loud music. we’ve got that too….at this exact moment, the lion king soundtrack (more specifically, the lion sleeps tonight) is drowning out our television…sheesh